Pouring the Foundation aka More Things Are Happening!

Quick but pivotal update tonight: we have achieved concrete. I may have jinxed myself with the last post on being almost done, as three days later we had a catastrophic collapse around 85% of the trench.

Now, I'm not going to say that I wish I had stuck to my guns and refused to compromise on my original plans. However, When 6-8 inches of mud has fallen into the bottom of a trench, it is significantly easier to clear it out when the rebar is only three inches high than when it is 24 inches high.

So I spent many uncomfortable weeks straddling an awkward metal cage, which is held together with sharp pointy wire. I lost about three gallons of blood in the process and ripped the crotch out of five pairs of jeans.

Being that we are rapidly approaching winter, I was afraid we would run out of appropriate weather for pouring concrete. I think we managed to hit the last warm snap of the season. Thanks, global warming! Thanks, El Nino!

This morning I was all set to get my daughter to school and come home to pour some concrete. I started this journey by stepping off the porch, rolling my ankle, and falling right on my face. I thought, oh no, a wonky ankle is going to totally fuck up my day.

Oh, but the Fuck-up Fairy wasn't done with me yet.
I drop off my kid, start heading back, my tire blew out, and I skidded into a ditch.

Mind you, this is the tire that I just replaced in May. This is also the one day I decided not to put on jeans and went out in my PJ bottoms. No one is going to see me, right?

Wrong. Everyone dropping their kid off to school that day got to see me in my jammies yelling at my tire in a ditch. C'est la vie.

So, Mom to the rescue (thanks, Mom!) I get dropped off just in time to do 2 hours worth of prep in 45 minutes. So much panic.

All the drama aside, it's done. We worked 13 yards of concrete into a 24 inch high,134 foot long footing before breakfast. Before coffee even.

Level up.

Here's a few photos of before and after. There was too much to do to take any "during" photos.

I am disappointed that Jack did not supervise us at all through the pour. The little snot slept through the whole thing. Oh well. Here's a photo of him snuggling his grumpy cat plushie anyway.

Now I can relax a bit. The next step is to build four courses of architectural blocks on top of this footing. I'm not going to have enough warm weather to get anything significant done on that front, so it's time to head to the garage for some wood working.

Things Wisely Left Behind: The Dick Angel

Second hand shopping is a passion of mine. I feel slightly pretentious saying so, but it's true. I love thrift stores. I love Craigslist. I love garage sales. Hell, I've even been known to dumpster dive. I love digging through old discarded junk and coming up with a treasure.

I used to hunt through local shops for old ponies, I still scour them for household items, and now I rummage for building materials. Our local Savers often have things I will be needing. I'm also blessed to have five Habitat for Humanity ReStores within driving distance. If you've never been to one of these stores, it's wonderland of donated and reclaimed bricks, and tile, and wood, and lights, and hardware, and cabinets, and sinks, and EVERYTHING. I've been slowly procuring things like doors, windows, sinks, and light fixtures for the house. Some of these pieces are really unique and I will be trotting them out for everyone once the building is further along.

Now, sometimes when I'm out sifting through cast off doo-dads, I come across things that just makes you pause. Pause, double-take, cringe, and back away. Sometimes I'll bark a laugh that scares the old ladies in the next aisle.

Today I came across one of these items. I present, The Dick Angel:

I came across this folksy wonder at the Salvation Army in Lawrence, KS. Initially we were calling her the Dangel, but Dongel has been slowly gaining preference.

This makes me think I could start making a quite marketable decorative item for Etsy. I wonder if Alibaba sells rubber dongs in bulk?

Update on the Foundation Redesign and Other Things

After what's felt like a horribly long time of getting nowhere, things are finally coming together. We've had a break in the rain. The trench was cleaned out, the sides have been mostly repaired, and we're just about ready to have another inspection.

After talking with the inspector, he had a suggestion that would speed things up and make it a bit easier on us. Instead of pouring our footings 10 inches thick, we're pouring it up to 24 inches and laying a cinder block stem wall on that. It's costing us a little more and requires us to do a bit more rebar than the original plans. I've been a bit stressed out about that because I've never done rebar like this nor did I have a lot of time to go over the code. I really hope I got it right, because there's not much time left before cold weather sets in. No pressure, right?

This required three pieces of rebar running horizontally and vertical rebar placed every four feet. The verticals had to be placed just so since they will be running through the cavities of the cinder blocks. To make sure I was on the mark I ran the lines on the batter boards and checked my placement with a template of the cinder blocks.

Jack decided that cats are more interesting than rebar. I agree.

So here's more Jack:

Beyond the rebar, we've just been enjoying a quiet summer on the prairie. Our garden has done pretty well for the first year. We have a tiny black cat that has been hanging around. We're calling her Beyonce. She loves to sing, and since all our cats are boys she is the single lady.

No photos of her yet. She's still very skittish.

We have some prairie sunflowers that have grown on the property. Normally, I dislike sunflowers. A lot. Sunflowers are what interior decorators use when they want a place to be Kansas-y. I always associate them with truck stops, gas station bathrooms, kitschy gift shops, and the girls locker room all throughout the 90s. OK, that last one was just Elizabeth Arden's Sunflowers, but it still sucks.

These sunflowers, however, are MY sunflowers, so they're totally different. I love them. The bees really seem to like them too so they are definitely staying.

Edgar is still doing well.

I put up our mailbox and started decorating it. I'm painting mushrooms from my favorite 1970s enamelware set, and yes, the stems look like dicks. Ha ha, dicks.

diiiiiiiiiiicks

The farmer that owns the surrounding land came through and hayed. Now we have large hay bales.

Yeah, they're really not that interesting.

Not us though. We don't really want the grasses cut and hauled away. We're letting it grow wild for now and will be mulching it so we can help restore the top soil.

Damn long-grassed hippies.

I've done some work down in the tree line. There's flat spot that I want to turn into a meditation garden. It sits under a huge oak tree and next to our little stream. Right now it's full of flowers...

Awwwww.

... and a giant honking orb spider.

EEEEEEEEEEEE

That's pretty much it for now. I've had some new stuff happen as far as the trenches go since I started this post, but that will wait for now. Hopefully I'll be sharing some concrete pouring in the next week or so.

How to Excavate a Foundation in a Monsoon

When we applied for our building permit in December, there was a provision that required us to have an inspection done once every six months or the permit had to be renewed. Translation: work fast or hand over even more money. That gave us until mid June to have the inspection for the footings. The ground thaws out in our area late March into early April and the temperatures are reliably warm enough to pour concrete by early May. I had all my necessary equipment to do they layout on site in mid April.

This year, that is when monsoon season began. No, that is not a usual thing for Kansas.

In May it rained two out of every three days with a final total of 12 inches for the month. June was slightly better with rain occurring only one out of every three days. When we realized that having anything done by our six month mark was looking doubtful, we set up meeting with our county inspector so we could talk about our options. He was very understanding about the weather and was gracious enough to give us a little leeway, so long as the inspection happened within the next couple weeks.

So, with the forecast looking mostly OK, we got out batter boards set up, rented an excavator and got to work.

We only use free range batter boards

First thing I did upon the excavator's arrival was stick giant googly eyes to it. Every time we start working on stuff, we have lookie-loos drive by. I thought I'd give them something to gawk at.

Whachu lookin' at?

It amused me greatly.

OM NOM NOM NOM!!!

Jack still felt the need to supervise our work even though the giant noisy diggy thing was sheer terror to his little kitty brain. He took up his vigil under the trailer.

Human... WTF???

It went well. Jorgen dug, I wheelbarrowed dirt out of the way and squared up the bottom of the trench.

A few days of moving earth and the trench was deep enough and clean enough for me to start on the rebar. That was also when my nemesis, the Rain Fairy, returned.

The Rain Fairy is a malicious creature that exists for the sole purpose of drowning your dreams. Going on a picnic? Camping trip? Building a ten foot tall unicorn out of sugar in your backyard? Not on her watch.

She shoots precipitation from her armpits and despair directly into your soul 

First night it rained, the trench filled with about four inches of water. Not catastrophic, but very annoying.

*grumble grumble grumble*

I got that water pumped out (mostly) and went back to doing rebar.

Rebar!

I was well on my way to having everything ready for the inspection that Tuesday when the Rain Fairy got nasty. On Sunday, the forecast was calling for 2.5 to 3 inches of rain on Monday and showers continuing for the next few days. The forecast was correct.

Incoming...

As the storm rolled in, I got out the submersible pump and went to work pumping water out as it was coming down.

Sump pump powers, ACTIVATE!

I built a dam out of cinder blocks and mud to guide the pumped water away from the trench.

It was mostly effective

The pumping continued through the night and again on Tuesday. The whole site was an awful muddy mess. I could see that the rebar was buried under mud and silt and large pieces of earth had fallen into the trench.

Mudegeddon

*grumbling intensifies*

The pump was starting to act up, so I went into town to find something to help things along. I found a pond pump that was very reasonably priced. I wrapped a piece of pantyhose around the filter to keep the silt from clogging it and dropped it in. It worked well.

Cheap but effective

As a bonus, I stopped into the thrift shop while I was in town and found these two ponies. Even though I'm selling off my collection, I'll never pass up a first generation pony. Ever.

Also, a piece of amberina glass. Score!

The forecast for Thursday called for a 50% chance of rain and after that we were in the clear. When the rain missed us Thursday I thought I had my chance to get everything cleaned out and finished up. I got in the trench Friday morning and got to work. There was eight inches of sludge in some spots, completely burying the rebar but I powered through it. By that afternoon I had made good progress. I was going to get it done... but then...

The Rain Fairy returned.

Now, there was no mention of rain in the forecast for that day. There was no rain on the radar when I had checked it four hours earlier. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. But there it was. Thunder and lightning to the east and heading my way.

It was at that point that I did what any reasonable person would do: I lost my shit.

I know there is no real point to hurling profanities at the weather. That didn't stop me.

If vitriol and obscenities could burn away Cumulonimbus, all would have been well. Alas, the downpour commenced unabated and the trench was once again filled with water.

Fucking Rain Fairy.

ASDJKFL;ADSJF I QUIT

So, that right there is how you dig a foundation in a monsoon: with great frustration. We had the building inspector come out and look at the site and his main commentary was, "Oh, man..." We then set up a meeting and he had some ideas for us on how to proceed. I'm very grateful for his input and understanding and we're in the process of revising our plans to make up for lost time.

This revision may require a little more cement and may cost a little extra, but it should be worth it. If it is approved, I'll share the details in a future post.

As T.F. Hodge said, "To conquer frustration, one must remain intensely focused on the outcome, not the obstacles.”

But.

If I do happen upon that Rain Fairy... I. Will. End. Her.

DIY Wire Dobies for Embedding Rebar in Concrete

While the rain has kept us from doing any excavations, we have kept busy doing a little prep work. We cut some posts and cross beams for the batter boards. Those will be going up as soon as the ground dries a little more. We've also been creating some wire dobies for when we lay the rebar for the footings.

For this project we needed:
Quickcrete
16g galvanized wire
Modeling clay
Disposable cups (get cups that will lift the rebar to the appropriate height ie. if you need the rebar three inches off the ground, get cups that are three inches tall)
A scrap wooden board
Wire cutters
An x-acto knife

All total, these materials cost me about $14. There are 50 cups in the package so this will make 50 dobies. For comparison, the big box stores sell a pack of 100 plastic rebar chairs for $60. Add one more package of cups, and you can have 100 dobies for a quarter of the cost of the rebar chairs. Not too shabby.

We experimented with a couple ways of doing this. For the first method, we started by cutting a hole in the top of the cups.

Place the cups upside down on the wooden board and sealed the bottoms with modeling clay.

The wire is bent into a long narrow "U" shape.

Mix a small batch of concrete in the wheelbarrow. I placed the board across the wheel barrow to make filling them easier.

Fill them from the top. Gently tap the board to tamp the cement down and release any large air bubbles. It's not necessary to get all the air out, just any big pockets. They just have to be strong enough to hold your rebar in place; they don't have to be pretty. You want them to be completely full and level with the top. Press the wires into the cement, making sure they are centered.

They're like little volcanoes, except they're not

This is what happens if you tamp it too hard. The seal can and will break and concrete will go everywhere. Don't do it. It's messy and not the good kind of messy.

After the concrete has cured just peel off the cup and you have a dobie. Congratulations.

This method worked well, but we have a lot of dobies to make. After several batches the clay began to get cement in it and it became hard to work with. So we got lazy, er, creative. Yeah, that's it.

We just stuck the wire through the bottom of the cup and poured the cement in. So long as you keep the holes small and the cement thick, it works very well. You also need something to set the cups on that will allow the wires to hang down. A mesh grate or a wooden pallet may work for you. We used the side tray on my husband's gas grill. He may or may not approve of this use.

Bwa ha ha, he doesn't have a choice

There you have it. Dobies.

Finally, if you really love your dobies and they have served you well, you can present them with an item of clothing.

#justharrypotterthings

Edgar, the Seven Foot Tall Piranha Plant

Last year, after purchasing our land we set out to get three things done before permanently setting up shop: water, electric, and a storm shelter. Getting the electric installed was largely in the hands of the bank, as they had to send contracts and land tract information to the electric company. The other two projects involved digging. Lots and lots of digging.

In order to use our little house as a temporary residence, we need to have a permit. I knew this from reading through the building codes. I didn't see anything that prohibited us from storing it on the land so we moved it out there and used it largely to store our equipment. There were also three separate non-consecutive nights where we slept in it since we were tired and didn't feel like making the forty minute drive back to the house only to turn around and drive back the next morning. In my mind that's not using it as a residence, that's camping on my own damn land (but, admittedly, I may be have been stretching things a bit).

The morning after that last over-nighter, I rolled out of bed and started some breakfast over a campfire. As I was finishing up the eggs, a white pickup rolls up the driveway. A man gets out, identifies himself as being with the building department, and informs me that I am in violation of zoning regulations.

This was an absolute nightmare scenario for me. I had planned on setting up a meeting with the building department when we were ready to start applying to for permits. I wanted to talk about our plans and get to know the inspectors. Instead, here I was, filthy from the previous day's digging, hair a mess, in my PJ bottoms and scroungy t-shirt being told that I was doing something illegal. The only way it could have been more uncomfortable is if there had been a dead hooker or some blue meth sitting nearby.

I tried to explain what I was doing but he told me that a "neighbor" had called to complain and had said we were living out there. I'm still floored that not even a month into working some nosy son-of-a-bitch had to run and tattle on us for working on our own damn land.

So rude.

So we had to move the little house, which cost us money. We had to pay rent on it's new location. We stopped working on the water main trench and storm shelter until we got everything sorted out (neither one needed a permit. we knew that). By the time everything was sorted, the trench and the shelter excavation had filled with rain and the trench had mostly collapsed in on itself. All in all, it was an expensive pain in the butt over nothing.

Something about being run off of the land that we had worked so hard to make our own triggered a territorial response in me. I felt that I needed to leave behind a symbol of defiance. Something to mark my claim. Something that said I would not be cowed. I considered leaving a flock of pink flamingoes behind, but that seemed a little cliche. A little pedestrian. I needed something that said, "I'm an adult, and I do what I want!"

So I got out some plywood and some masking tape and began to pixel-art.

... and I art-ed some more...

Jack supervised.

Finally, Edgar the Piranha Plant was installed next to our driveway. He will be where we display our building permits (as they ARE required to be displayed, you see), and he will tell the world that we are totally adults and we WILL do what we want. Nosy neighbors be damned.